The Alien Hand

Does this ever happen to you?  Even while your hand is putting chips in the pot, your brain is yelling "Hey!  What are you doing?  Are you nuts??"

I call it the Alien Hand.  It's almost like it has a mind, and a will, and a plan of its own.  I just hope he knows what he's doing!

It happened again Friday night, when a guy open-limps early, and I raise right behind him, with Ace Ten offsuit.  The good old hope this ain't a chip burner isolation play.  And my brain didn't really yell, just kinda smart-ass commented, something like "Hey, didn't you do a blog post about this just the other day?  Something about Breaking Bad Habits?  What's wrong, you got a short memory??"

Again, I didn't think enough about who the blinds were, and in this case Big Blind was not likely to give it up; he's more like a guy who likes to call, then sometimes check-raise you on any flop, whether it hits him or not.    He's also the only guy I know whose name is both an acronym AND a palindrome.   Think  M*A*S*H 

So he calls, and the limper calls, and the flop comes rags: 378.  The Big Blind does indeed check-raise, and the limper folds.  So I raise his ass right back, with nothing, and he calls.

I might have bet the turn, too, except it came a six, making me a gutshot draw.   So if he checkraises me again there would be 18 small bets in the pot, and I'd be getting 9-to-1 odds to chase an 11-to-1 draw.  Not good.   Of course I may have more outs than that, but still, I'd just hate to get raised and have to lay down, even when I'm thinking he's putting the move on me, or call to draw when getting shitty odds. So when he checked the turn, I checked too.  If I were a better player, maybe I could make more sophisticated decisions than this, and might play differently, and cash out more chips.  Maybe if I bet here and got checkraised, and thought he had nothing, or even if he had something, I should reraise anyway.  Maybe.  Guess I don't quite play at that level.

So anyway, the river is a Jack, and he bets out.  Now I'm getting 6-to-1 odds that he has nothing, and that my Ace high is good.  One time out of seven?  This guy?   HELL YES, I tell myself, and call.  Funny thing was, he turns over Ace Nine, and so it turns out my Ace Ten IS good.  Once again an opponent has made a river bet that, in retrospect, makes no sense at all.  Well, at least not to me.  That's really confusing, because this guy is the best player in the room― if you don't believe me, just ask him― and so of course I'm trying to study him, and learn from him, and pick up on some of those advanced strategies.  But, sadly, I still haven't learned how make value-betting Ace high into a winning play.  Maybe someday.   Or maybe not.  :-)
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The Dog

Saturday night 20/40 at Diamond Lils.  Main game, after midnight, I'm the sole ethnic minority at this table, and these guys are gambooling, for sure.  No blind stealing or chopping going on, and rarely less than five players seeing the flop.  Sometimes a raise or two, but just as often not.

So I limp in on the button, after several others, with K9.  The Dog.  Flop comes 984, but by the time the action reaches me, it's already three bets !

In many games in this situation, against most players, I'd probably want to just let it go, and figure somebody must already have a real hand.  But not against these guys.  With only the tiniest voice in my head whining that it might be a little over aggressive, I cap it at four bets.  I think there's a good enough chance that I have the best hand.  Everyone calls.

Turn is a 3, and now a backdoor flush draw on board, and I'm also worried someone out there is slowplaying a set, or maybe top two.  Checked to me, I bet, and they ALL call.  Yikes!  Where am I at in this hand?<

A 7 on the river, checked to me again, and I can't think of any reason to bet now.  I check, and two guys, both the flop aggressors, turn over Ten Jack for the nut straight, and split the pot.

If I my poker philosophy was Results Oriented, then I should be unhappy about this outcome.  But since I am devoutly Performance Oriented, I was just fine with it.  Did you ever see my essay about that, and the secret philosophical poker equation?

        Result = Performance ±  Luck

That essay is here:  Part I & Part II.

Sure, they sucked out on me [luck] , but I made them pay the max [performance] , and then when they got there [result], and both of them tried for the check-raise [performance-them], but I didn't take the bait [performance-me].  So even though the result was unfavorable, I'm happy with performance, and that's all that really matters.
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If I Ran the Room<

Isn't it funny how many players try to tell the houseman or the dealer how to run the room or deal the game?   And some players really like to do that, don't they?.  Sometimes they give ORDERS to the dealer, and TELL him what to do.  Not me.  No way.  It's their house, I'm a guest, and it's not my place to do more than maybe make a polite comment, or at most a suggestion now and then.

But here, on my own blog,  I can sound off a little, right?  Hope you don't mind.

1.  No more small chips!  20/40 is a RED CHIP GAME.  When a player goes all-in, isn't it silly to make him, or even let him, put in those last two dollars?  If he has five $1 chips, then fine, that equals a Redbird, so put it in.  But odd amounts?  Forget it, and stop wasting time making all that small change for the side-pot.

And when it's a split pot, stop wasting time breaking the odd $5 chip down into $1 chips.  It's a RED CHIP GAME, so just give the odd red chip to the entitled player, and be done with it.

2.  No more curiosity viewing!  Every room as a rule saying something like "Any player at the table is entitled to see a called hand."  So when two guys jam it to squeeze you out, then after you fold they just check it down, and on the river one guy shows one card and the other guy starts to throw away, you can tell the dealer "Both Hands, Please!"  

This is a good rule, useful for detecting or discouraging collusion, and in that "squeeze play" situation, it makes sense.  In fact, when two guys do that to me, and it does happen now and then, I do ask to see both hands.

But more often the player asking to see a hand on the end has no reason to suspect any hanky-panky, and is simply being curious.  Now that's just wrong.  But it's difficult, if not impossible, to base a rule on what a player is thinking, or what their motivation is, for asking to see a hand.

So if I ran the room, when a player asks to see a hand, the floorman is called, and the requestor has to explain why they're asking.  If they can make any kind of case beyond "I'm just curious," then fine.  Otherwise, forget it.  After this happened a few times, players would come to understand the difference between game-protection and curiosity, and would stop asking just because they're curious.  Wouldn't that be a good thing?

If you asked the cardroom to consider making those changes, they'd probably tell you they can't, because of State Gambling Commission rules.  I think they'd just say that, and that the Commission people don't know enough, or pay attention enough, to make rules like that.   Not long ago the house rule changed to let a player  "Buy the Button."   Did that change get approved by the Commission?  Are you kidding me?  Do you really think anyone there has even half a clue what "Buy the Button" means, or that they specify rules and regulations to that level of detail?  Maybe so, but I kind of doubt it.

The other day I was in a hand, 3 way action, I'm in the middle, and the button bets the turn.  The guy ahead of me calls, and at that point I didn't like my chances, and folded.  Then the river comes, and the first guy just throws away.  Well, in that case I immediately asked the dealer "Both hands, Please."   I didn't so much want to see that hand that folded with no bet to me, as the guy who took the pot without even having to bet or show, when he should have had to do one of those two things.

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Nightmares

It was a week ago, but this hand is still keeping me awake nights.  I've described times that my opponents made mistakes, and maybe blew off a few chips, betting or calling when they shouldn't.  Bad enough.  But this time it was me that screwed up, and it cost me the whole damn (large) pot.


I'm in seat 8, as usual, and right after me in 9 is this 20-something kid who will call raises and/or chase to the end with just about anything.  Fine.  But he is also Mr. Maximum Slow Play.  If he flops or makes 2 pair or better, he will always wait until the turn, or more often the river, before doing any raising.  One time he smooth-called my preflop raise with pocket Kings, and waited for the turn to raise.  Every other time he raised the turn or river and showed, he had at least two pair.  Always.

So...comes this hand where he's on the button, several people limp in ahead of us, and I raise King Queen Diamonds from the cutoff.  Max, both blinds, and all the limpers call.

Flop comes Jack, Ten, four, rainbow.   Open ender, two overcards, in a volume pot.  I like it.   Checked to me, I bet, Tom-Tom checkraises from the blind, and I 3 bet.   We lose a couple, but it's still four way.

This guy in the blind, Tom-Tom, is even older than me, and is always there in fresh, clean blue or green one-piece shop-suit coveralls.  He is another who will play just about anything, and is often quite unpredictable.  For example, he called my 3 bets on the flop, didn't reraise, but now he bets out when a five hits the turn.  What does that mean?   He likes the five, made him two pair?  Hard to say.  Like I said, unpredictable.

So at this point I'm not raising any more, just calling with my open ender, good odds, but then Max raises behind me.  Shit.  Tom-Tom calls.  I call.

The river does not make my straight, but is a King, giving me top pair.  We let Max bet, and Tom-Tom calls.  What do I do?  Overcall?<

Remember we said said how Max never raised the turn or river with less than 2 pair?  And what did Tom-Tom bet out with, then call that raise with, on the turn?  37 bets in the pot, but I decide, too quickly, that one of these guys must have me beat.  I fold.

Tom-Tom calls, though, and Max turns over Ace Jack.  Tom shows Queen Jack.  So they both flopped top pair, and I sucked out on the river, but didn't even know it.  I been watching Max all day, thought I had his number, but I sure didn't have it this time, and it sure did cost me.  So, just how dumb, how terrible, was my laydown?   Pretty damn bad, I'm afraid.  I mean, to give it up in that spot you have to be really, really, sure you are beat.

Then another mistake:  I told Mrs. Rock about this disaster, and now she keeps looking at me with what appears to be pity, while sadly shaking her head.   And I'm also telling it to you, my readers, even though you may laugh at me over it.  Why?  Because I want to remember this hand, painful as it may be, so next time I'm faced with this situation, where I think I really know the guy, maybe I can think more carefully, and make a better decision. The decision I made this time really sucked.

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