The Graveyard Shift

20/40 Limit Hold Em at 3:00am, and it’s capped 6 ways before the flop, then checked around on the flop!   It’s a mini-epidemic of FPS (Fancy Play Syndrome), and I'm the sole ethnic minority in the game, again.  Only at Diamond Lil’s.

The main attraction right now is Madeline, a remarkably cute young woman who deals pit games in some other casino.  She played fairly tight and conservative all evening.  Like a girl.  Doh.  

But then she chugged couple drinks with her friends right at last call, and went completely nutso.  Now she’s playing every hand, straddling, betting, raising and folding out of turn, and often “in the dark,” and, in general, just burning chips like they were soaked in gasoline.

Madeline takes a break, an Asian kid I’ll call Nelson open raises from early position, and I three bet from the middle with 99.  Button calls, and blinds fold.

So we see the flop 3 way:  K 8 7 Rainbow.  Checked to me, I bet, button calls, and Nelson check-raises.  Oops.  OK, if he has a King I’m screwed, but the situation, pot size, and the guy behind me combine to say that maybe I shouldn’t hike my skirt up just yet.  So I 3-bet, trying to buy the button.  

Wrong answer; the button calls.  Then Nelson caps it.  Well, shit, my game plan for this hand sure went to hell in a hurry.  I was trying to dominate, thought I might be best, but it looks like I’m toast.  Only a miracle 9 on the turn, or maybe turn some kind of draw, can save me now.  Should I chase it?

I smile, and remind myself that this is exactly why I count bets going into the pot, and I call.  The button is “telling” me that he’s just calling.  Once he does, there will be 22 bets in there, and I’m 22-to-1 against spiking a 9, with plenty of additional (implied) bets to be made if I do hit it.

And probably I wouldn’t be telling about this hand, except, yes, all that practice finally paid off, and a lovely two-outer nine did hit the turn.  Turned out Nelson had AK, and the button flopped 2 pair with his 87 suited, so plenty of action.  Then the button “gets lucky” and fills up on the river, but of course I have the bigger boat, so lots more action there too.  Then I stack a big pot and also get to hear some ranting about how far behind I was on the flop, and how lucky I got.  So this hand made me look like an Action Player, and that’s good too.

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It was Charles, last December, who got me hooked on the Graveyard Shift.  After the kitchen and bar are closed, the bigscreen subscription music thing in the bar that plays mostly 80’s hits all night gets turned up so loud that you can hear it at Table 1.  Charles knew every lyric for every song they played, and would sing along, and damn he was good.   If you don’t know Charles, just imagine Mr. Clean of cleanser commercial fame, in chocolate-- same physique, same smooth dome, same infectious smile.   And a really entertaining one-man karaoke show most nights, up until year end.  Then nothing.  Hasn’t been in at all this year.  MIA.

Charles, if you’re out there reading this, please know that we miss you!  A couple other guys tried to take your place a few times, and do the sing-along, but THEY SUCKED!  Please come back.  Nobody sings it like you.

So I’m keeping a vigil, waiting Charles’ return.  I work my real job Monday thru Thursday.  Then I’ve been coming in during swingshift — early evening — on Thursday, Friday and Saturday, staying through last call, and then until the kitchen opens back up at 7:00am.  Then I either have or skip the free breakfast, go home and sleep until late afternoon, then get up, shower, go back, and do it again, three consecutive looong sessions per week.

Sometimes it’s is a rammin and jammin thing, capped five ways before the flop, hand after hand.  Other times it’s surprisingly passive — a limpfest.  In any case, it’s pretty much a sure thing that DL’s small cadre of winning players have all gone home by the time Graveyard Shift officially arrives, and we’re left with the boozers and the losers.  One recent Friday night there were FOUR 20/40 games at midnight, then three, then two, then around 2:30am it got down to just one, at Table 1, full, until breakfast.  And there I was, parked in Seat 8, my home away from home.  After breakfast we’re down to eight:  Brad, Mr. Lee, Saejin, Kelly, Ms. T, Steve, Me, and Cal.  One seat open, no board, and this was the last hand I played before I packed and went home:

Three limpers, including the button, small blind folds, and I get a free play in the big blind, with ten seven offsuit.  Flop comes 874 rainbow, and I check, expecting to fold if there’s much action.

But there’s not much action.  Limpers check to the button, who bets, but this guy would bet pretty much anything in this spot.  So I raise, although with a pot this small, that may have been a flakey move.  Anyway, limpers fold, and he calls.  

Turn is a 9, making me an open-ender along with my pair.  Heads up; I bet, and he calls again.

Jack on the river makes my straight, I bet, and he raises me.  Wait, what?  Now I’m as confused as a hungry baby in a topless bar.  If he has a ten too, I can call and we’ll split it.  If he has exactly Queen Ten, I’m screwed.  

Thing is, with this particular guy, there is often no rhyme nor reason for his actions.  You have to be able to put them on a rational thought before you can put them on a hand.  In this case, I can do neither.  

So I just call, and he shows 9 7.  He made two pair on the turn, but “slowplay” is this guy’s middle name, so he waits for the river to raise.  If I were a better player, maybe I could have better understood where I was at here, and realized how likely it was that he was raising with some lesser hand.  Then I could have raised back and won a couple more bets.  Maybe.  As it was, the surprise raise made me fear Queen Ten perhaps more than I needed to.


The Short List

In a post last January I thinly disguised his name as “Will Kagen,” and wrote unkind things about a venerable player named Bill.   I was still piqued about how skillfully he knocked me off pocket Aces, but that’s no excuse.  

I regret those remarks now.  Well, not too much; I was mostly just kidding around.  For instance, I wrote that he talks a lot, without actually saying anything.  You know, just noise.  

Well, that’s not right.  Actually, his table talk is pretty entertaining, and lately I better appreciate how it keeps things light, keeps keeps the players laughing, and doesn’t that make the game better?

Also, when you see The Other Guy play his hands quite differently than you would, it’s way too easy to condemn his play as “bad.”  What’s not so easy, is to admit to yourself that maybe, just maybe, The Other Guy is smarter than you, and knows and understands things you don’t, and the play just seems bad to you,  because it’s a level or three over your head.

Then, one night last week, over a shared monster Burrito Supreme at Baja, Mrs. Rock and I were talking, and we made a list.  We tried to see how many DL 20/40 players we could name, who never, ever, show any anger at all when they take a beat.  Several got honorable mention for keeping their cool most of the time, but almost everyone seems to get mad, and show it, at least once in a while.

But not Bill.  He made that list, and let me tell you, it was a mighty short list.  How short?  Well, in the end, we were able to count if off on one hand, with some fingers left over.

I’ve written before, a couple times, about how “Everyone’s true character shows itself in the poker game, sooner or later,” and making The Short List says a lot about character.  So now I have this new-found respect for Bill, and needed to say so.  Couldn’t just leave that old post out there.  Thank you.  I feel better already.

Lady Luck Smiles on Me. Again.

Some days, everything you touch turns to shit, but some days it all turns to gold.  Yesterday was a Golden Day.  Played ‘til 5:00 am the night before, and it was past Noon before I could even drag my ass out of bed.  But then I got to Diamond Lil’s just before 2:00 pm, and took the last open seat in the 20/40 game.  A forecast of snow later kept lots of people home, and it was really slow for a Saturday afternoon, with just one game at each of the 4/8, 8/16, and 20/40 limits.  Eventually, things picked up.  Way up.

I bought in for $1,000, and cashed out $7,502 seventeen hours later.  I’ve won more than that at higher limits, but for 20/40, I think this was my best-ever session win.

I’d like to say I played really good, but the truth is that I flopped sets, made flushes and straights, and had Aces and Kings, and AK, and especially AQ, hold up WAY more than usual.  In other words, I got lucky.  REAL lucky.  Repeatedly.  And maybe I did play well in a couple spots, but for sure I also got stupid a few times, here and there.  Again.

One time the UTG player open-raised, and I, right behind her, mucked AQ.

One time the UTG player open-raised, and I, right behind him, 3-bet with KT.  Offsuit.  Showed to down to take the pot, too, then heard about it, repeatedly, for the next couple hours. :-)

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Traffic Stop

I’ve played 20/40 with Steve nearly 20 years.  Right before New Years we were in the game, and he was table-talking to the other guys about his nightclub in a neighboring town, where hostesses entertain the male clientele.  He emphasized again (I had heard this from him before) that his “ladies are very clean.”  OK, fine.  Snap.  Got the picture.

He also mentioned that his hostesses were from overseas.  We’d recently watched some shows on MSNBC about such things, and this ugly buzzword was fresh in my head, and, well, sadly, my big mouth got away from me.  Again.  So I jumped in and asked:

   “Wait, there isn’t any Human Trafficking going on here, is there ??”

He didn’t seem to hear me, or to understand, not sure which.  But Dealer Doug did, gave me a WTF look, and said “Eeeeew, how can you even say that?”  Couple other guys groaned too, as if I had asked a Scoutmaster taking his troop into the woods if anyone was gonna be molested.  I felt about an inch tall, so I STFU, and tried to shrink down in my seat and be invisible.

Last week I even talked to Doug about it, and told him how bad I felt about that comment, and some other smartass remark I had made another time.  Guess I’m not friends enough with Steve to apologize to him, even if he had heard me.  But I respect Doug’s opinion, and feelings, and it seemed the remark put him off.  I felt like I had probably crossed the line, and wanted to make it right, so I apologized to him instead.  I think he forgave me.  At least he said he did.

Then, last Friday, I had to go back to Doug, and un-apologize!  Turns out last Thursday came the FEDERAL bust, and Friday the FEDERAL grand jury indictment, apparently charging club owner Steve, and seven others, with exactly what I said, plus a few other unsavory crimes that might tend to put one away for many many moons.  News from a couple days ago said “held without bail.”  Hey, maybe they’ll get real good lawyers, or plead way down, or at least make bail; who knows?  But my money says orange jumpsuits love you long time.

These remarkable events were, or course, the main topic of talk at the table, if not throughout the room, all the time I was stacking chips during that mega-rush yesterday.

= = = = =

If you're reading, will ya please leave a comment and let me know there's an audience out there?  Thanks.

The Perfect Storm

($20/40 Limit Hold Em at Diamond Lil's, Renton, Washington)

Late Saturday night, well, actually early Sunday, like 3 a.m. or so, and it's a wild game.  Seat belts are mandatory, and be sure to take some Dramamine, or whatever other anti-puke pharmaceutical seems appropriate.  Betting is often capped before the flop, even when players' holdings don't justify it.  Big Al, for example, just capped with ten seven offsuit, and now is busy smiling, and stacking an XXL pot.  The guy with AK flopped top two, but the river made Al's flopped pair of sevens into trip sevens.  And yes, he happily took LOTS of heat (called several raises) along the way.  Even put in a couple raises himself.

This is the kind of game we all say that we love to play in, and some come a long way, like from Portland, or B.C., Canada, and points in-between.  One guy even flies in from Boise now and then.  But before you come into these pots with, well, with pretty much anything, you gotta be willing to go four bets, cuz likely as not, that's what's gonna happen, and with, on average, 5.853 players seeing the flop. Give or take.

So it's scary.  And if, like me, you're trying to be Performance-Oriented, then it's often hard to know what the best Performance is, or what the best plays are.

And if you're Results-Oriented, then beware, because playing in this game could actually make you lose your mind.  That's not a problem for me, as I have mine backed-up on a 2GB USB thumb drive, with room to spare.  But if you come to play it, well, watch your ass.

On the next deal, I 3-bet with AK, but Saejin caps it right behind me.  Four of us see the flop: 222. Saejin raises my bet, and the other two fold.  I’m thinking he has a pocket pair, don’t quite know how big, and I may respectively have 0, 3, or 6 outs, if he has AA, KK, or some smaller pair.  Yes, I forgot that one other out, and was immediately notified of my oversight, like a slap in the face, when . . .

Bang!  The case deuce hits the turn, and it becomes The Perfect Storm.  Seen other guys with this hand a few times, but don’t think it ever happened to me before, to hold that nut Ace, when the board makes quads.  I’ve counted 14 Royal Flushes over the years, but never that hand.  Randomness works in strange ways.

Then I blow it, and bet right out.  He expresses some disgust, but politely, and folds immediately.  Right away I was sorry I didn’t check, and give him an opportunity to put in some more chips.  I mean, why should I bet?  So I promised myself that next time I’m in that situation, I’ll just check.  And I hoped that I wouldn’t have to wait another nineteen years for the opportunity.  All this happened a couple weeks ago.

Then, last weekend, it actually came up again.  This time I held an Ace, and two 10s came on the flop, then two more, on the turn and river.  This time I was last to act, so I had to bet the River.

The other Perfect Storm that I’m still waiting for, is to be heads up with some guy, where you both make Broadway straights on the turn, and have a raising war at a place like Bellagio, where there’s no cap on heads-up betting.  And he puts in a whole bunch of raises without realizing that you are freerolling the nut flush draw along with your straight, and, well, you know the rest.  This almost kinda sorta happened to me once, but he ran out of chips, and my flush didn’t come in, so the pot was split after all.

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Another Nightmare Laydown

I open-raise with Aces from middle position, and this rather Clueless Stranger calls right behind me.  Will Kagen calls from the small blind, and we see the flop three-way.

The board comes :  Q57,9,6

I bet the flop, Clueless Stranger raises, I re-raise, and he calls.  Kagen is in there calling everything, too.

I bet the turn, and they both call.  At this point, Clueless Stranger is all-in.  Then I really have to stop, and think about it, when Kagen bets out on the river.

Hit the pause button a minute, and let me tell you about this guy.  He’s a little older than me, and been playing way longer.  Smart, and long on experience, cunning, and card-sense, but short on class, couth, discipline, and self-restraint.  Doesn’t have much to say, but talks loud and incessantly anyway. Plays lots of hands, and so he takes big swings.  Most importantly, he almost certainly knows how to play way better than he does.  This is probably true for most of us, but for him the condition is particularly acute.

And when it comes to sex, this guy is something of a legend.  I mean, everyone knows he does it better, and way more, than anyone else his age.  All he needs now is a partner.

Anyway, he’s totally capable of any kind of bluff you might imagine, and even a couple you never thought of.  So just because that scare card hit the river and a straight looks likely, I still want to call him.  Sure, he might have 34, or an 8, for the straight, or two pair, or spiked a set; who knows?  But with Kagen it’s equally likely he’s betting just because it looks to him like a real good bluffing opportunity.

Except we got Clueless Stranger all-in right behind me, he can’t be bluffed out, and the side pot is tiny.  I think about that a moment, and am convinced that Kagen MUST have a hand.  I muck.

Kagen announces “Straight!” and turns over pocket fours, then expresses great surprise when it’s not a straight after all.  Claims he misread the board. Clueless Stranger has KQ for a pair of Queens, takes the main pot, and I sit there dumbfounded a minute.

Did he really misread his hand, or is he just saying that?  Did he deliberately bluff me out just to give the pot to the other guy?  That sounds crazy, but with him, all or any of those things are quite possible.

I posted before about a wacky call on the end with absolutely nothing, heads up, big pot, just for the odds that the bettor is bluffing, and will muck rather than show down.  I’ve considered that call a few times, and actually made it ONCE, with 54 suited, no pair, and took the pot, when the tilted bettor did indeed muck.

So now, on the end, do I also need to consider the possibility that the bettor is misreading his hand?  Probably not, happens too rarely, but damn, I never before imagined how that scenario could trick me into folding the best hand.  Being outplayed is bad enough, but when it’s an accident?  Ouch.

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Funniest. Website. Ever.

And maybe also the crudest, rudest and lewdest X-rated textual site you ever saw, too.  So if you don’t want to see college kids’ uncensored and often quite nasty texts about sex, drugs, alcohol, booty calls & hookups, FBs & BJs, etc., then DO NOT visit  textsfromlastnight.com   and do not click on Best (or Worst), and pick All Time, or you will find 2300 archived pages under both those categories.

I’m sure it speaks badly of me, my character, and my worth as a human being, but damn, I just couldn’t stop reading this stuff!  Blew much of my ten day holiday break reading a couple hundred pages into both sections.  If you do go there, and after you read some, and see what it’s about, search on keyword   “rollover”   to see the funniest post of all.