The Perfect Storm

($20/40 Limit Hold Em at Diamond Lil's, Renton, Washington)

Late Saturday night, well, actually early Sunday, like 3 a.m. or so, and it's a wild game.  Seat belts are mandatory, and be sure to take some Dramamine, or whatever other anti-puke pharmaceutical seems appropriate.  Betting is often capped before the flop, even when players' holdings don't justify it.  Big Al, for example, just capped with ten seven offsuit, and now is busy smiling, and stacking an XXL pot.  The guy with AK flopped top two, but the river made Al's flopped pair of sevens into trip sevens.  And yes, he happily took LOTS of heat (called several raises) along the way.  Even put in a couple raises himself.

This is the kind of game we all say that we love to play in, and some come a long way, like from Portland, or B.C., Canada, and points in-between.  One guy even flies in from Boise now and then.  But before you come into these pots with, well, with pretty much anything, you gotta be willing to go four bets, cuz likely as not, that's what's gonna happen, and with, on average, 5.853 players seeing the flop. Give or take.

So it's scary.  And if, like me, you're trying to be Performance-Oriented, then it's often hard to know what the best Performance is, or what the best plays are.

And if you're Results-Oriented, then beware, because playing in this game could actually make you lose your mind.  That's not a problem for me, as I have mine backed-up on a 2GB USB thumb drive, with room to spare.  But if you come to play it, well, watch your ass.

On the next deal, I 3-bet with AK, but Saejin caps it right behind me.  Four of us see the flop: 222. Saejin raises my bet, and the other two fold.  I’m thinking he has a pocket pair, don’t quite know how big, and I may respectively have 0, 3, or 6 outs, if he has AA, KK, or some smaller pair.  Yes, I forgot that one other out, and was immediately notified of my oversight, like a slap in the face, when . . .

Bang!  The case deuce hits the turn, and it becomes The Perfect Storm.  Seen other guys with this hand a few times, but don’t think it ever happened to me before, to hold that nut Ace, when the board makes quads.  I’ve counted 14 Royal Flushes over the years, but never that hand.  Randomness works in strange ways.

Then I blow it, and bet right out.  He expresses some disgust, but politely, and folds immediately.  Right away I was sorry I didn’t check, and give him an opportunity to put in some more chips.  I mean, why should I bet?  So I promised myself that next time I’m in that situation, I’ll just check.  And I hoped that I wouldn’t have to wait another nineteen years for the opportunity.  All this happened a couple weeks ago.

Then, last weekend, it actually came up again.  This time I held an Ace, and two 10s came on the flop, then two more, on the turn and river.  This time I was last to act, so I had to bet the River.

The other Perfect Storm that I’m still waiting for, is to be heads up with some guy, where you both make Broadway straights on the turn, and have a raising war at a place like Bellagio, where there’s no cap on heads-up betting.  And he puts in a whole bunch of raises without realizing that you are freerolling the nut flush draw along with your straight, and, well, you know the rest.  This almost kinda sorta happened to me once, but he ran out of chips, and my flush didn’t come in, so the pot was split after all.

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Another Nightmare Laydown

I open-raise with Aces from middle position, and this rather Clueless Stranger calls right behind me.  Will Kagen calls from the small blind, and we see the flop three-way.

The board comes :  Q57,9,6

I bet the flop, Clueless Stranger raises, I re-raise, and he calls.  Kagen is in there calling everything, too.

I bet the turn, and they both call.  At this point, Clueless Stranger is all-in.  Then I really have to stop, and think about it, when Kagen bets out on the river.

Hit the pause button a minute, and let me tell you about this guy.  He’s a little older than me, and been playing way longer.  Smart, and long on experience, cunning, and card-sense, but short on class, couth, discipline, and self-restraint.  Doesn’t have much to say, but talks loud and incessantly anyway. Plays lots of hands, and so he takes big swings.  Most importantly, he almost certainly knows how to play way better than he does.  This is probably true for most of us, but for him the condition is particularly acute.

And when it comes to sex, this guy is something of a legend.  I mean, everyone knows he does it better, and way more, than anyone else his age.  All he needs now is a partner.

Anyway, he’s totally capable of any kind of bluff you might imagine, and even a couple you never thought of.  So just because that scare card hit the river and a straight looks likely, I still want to call him.  Sure, he might have 34, or an 8, for the straight, or two pair, or spiked a set; who knows?  But with Kagen it’s equally likely he’s betting just because it looks to him like a real good bluffing opportunity.

Except we got Clueless Stranger all-in right behind me, he can’t be bluffed out, and the side pot is tiny.  I think about that a moment, and am convinced that Kagen MUST have a hand.  I muck.

Kagen announces “Straight!” and turns over pocket fours, then expresses great surprise when it’s not a straight after all.  Claims he misread the board. Clueless Stranger has KQ for a pair of Queens, takes the main pot, and I sit there dumbfounded a minute.

Did he really misread his hand, or is he just saying that?  Did he deliberately bluff me out just to give the pot to the other guy?  That sounds crazy, but with him, all or any of those things are quite possible.

I posted before about a wacky call on the end with absolutely nothing, heads up, big pot, just for the odds that the bettor is bluffing, and will muck rather than show down.  I’ve considered that call a few times, and actually made it ONCE, with 54 suited, no pair, and took the pot, when the tilted bettor did indeed muck.

So now, on the end, do I also need to consider the possibility that the bettor is misreading his hand?  Probably not, happens too rarely, but damn, I never before imagined how that scenario could trick me into folding the best hand.  Being outplayed is bad enough, but when it’s an accident?  Ouch.

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Funniest. Website. Ever.

And maybe also the crudest, rudest and lewdest X-rated textual site you ever saw, too.  So if you don’t want to see college kids’ uncensored and often quite nasty texts about sex, drugs, alcohol, booty calls & hookups, FBs & BJs, etc., then DO NOT visit  textsfromlastnight.com   and do not click on Best (or Worst), and pick All Time, or you will find 2300 archived pages under both those categories.

I’m sure it speaks badly of me, my character, and my worth as a human being, but damn, I just couldn’t stop reading this stuff!  Blew much of my ten day holiday break reading a couple hundred pages into both sections.  If you do go there, and after you read some, and see what it’s about, search on keyword   “rollover”   to see the funniest post of all.